or at least that's how i feel.
omgosh. i have my good days
and i have my bad days
and when my days are bad...they're bad.
real bad.
my self-esteem has shot down so fast i don't even know where it went.
it's not even like i want/long/need to be skinny.
i don't at all.
i just want to be MY form of healthy.
i want to go from the picture above to this!
J.Hud is my idol.
i think she's beautiful.
UGHH the scaled killed me slowly and painfully this week
a huge disgusting dramatic ugly hideous 244 lbs.!!!
i am 5feet 3.5 inches there is no way i should weight that much.
a size 18!!!!
i hate it hate it hate it
i hate my body
so it's time for a change.
and i know i put it up before a while ago about a diet thing.
but I'm serious now.
4 months till prom i don't want to spend the rest of my life looking like this.
my goal:
to smash 50lbs out of my body.
True Life: i wish i were J.Hud
I'll be back with measurements when i get some measuring tape.
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